Today has been the worst day in quite a while.
My mother feels awful. She is so constipated it hurts. She feels so weak and lies in bed and sleeps much of the day. She cries and feels very low.
When I went over to see her this morning, she told me she wants to die. She does not want to live anymore. She has had enough.
I try to talk some sense into her. Whilst I fully respect her wishes, I think that she needs some grounding. There are drugs helping the constipation. She will get better with the chemo. She has not suffered any side-effects from the chemo. She is a strong and brave woman and has her family living with her and loving her and looking after her.
I feel responsible for everything. I am so exhausted that I cry all day as soon as I turn away from her so she won’t see it. I have to be strong for her but I feel so weak.
How does one respond to your loved one saying they want to die? How do you respond, how would you respond? I am at a loss.